Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.

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(660): View more from Missouri

He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"

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(951): View more from California

she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.

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(360): View more from Washington

Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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(206): View more from Washington

a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done

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(503): View more from Oregon

Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey

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