I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
