Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
