You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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