Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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