And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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