I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dear god my vagina.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
