every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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