ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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