Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
