Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
