i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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