I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
