I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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