Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
