I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
