He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
