You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
