Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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