that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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