For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
