a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
