My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
