the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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