he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
