You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize