Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
