I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize