I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
