update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So much rum. So many feels.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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