The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
