She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
