Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
