You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
