I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We need to rekindle our bromance
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
