P.S. I can't hear my feet
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You are the jesus of drinking
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I think I just sharted jello shots
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