im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
