I can tuck mytits in my pants
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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