How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Enjoy the penises
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
