Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
