hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
