she looked like the before picture.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
