She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
