Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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