"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
