What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
