Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
