His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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