he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
