Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
