After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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