i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
