He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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