so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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