Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
