One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
