dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize